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    <title>EccentricLoading on Alt.Andpaper.Net Joke News Site - Fiction, not Fake</title>
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      <title>&#34;Lifting Speed Too Fast to Feel the Burn&#34; — Stranded Bodybuilder Complains to Rescue Crew</title>
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      <pubDate>Fri, 10 Apr 2026 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
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      <description>After drifting for 48 hours, the man became enraged during helicopter hoist extraction, screaming that &#34;the load is dropping off.&#34; He attempted to reverse-climb the wire back toward the ocean surface, delaying his rescue by 30 minutes. &#34;Compared to the terror of catabolism, sharks are merely cardio partners,&#34; he stated. He is currently in custody, refusing to speak about anything except protein.</description><category>Muscle Arena</category><enclosure url="https://alt.andpaper.net/ja/articles/20260410-rescue-workout-arrest/index_hu_69d7ab00b0137834.jpg" length="129453" type="image/jpeg" /></item>
    
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