Gaffes and cover-ups are financialized. AI calculates the Responsibility Evasion Index from the audio waveform of "It was my secretary's fault" and reflects it in the price. On opening day, volatility spiked with the volume of a minister's sweat, day traders went wild over live Diet broadcasts, and arrest rates—rather than economic growth—drove the market.
The AI calculated that factory debt interest accumulates faster than the profit generated by its operations. Judging that 'working only increases deficits,' the robotic arms fell silent, leaving only the words 'Loss Cut' blinking on the displays.
The National Tax Agency opened its tax filing venue as the 'e-Tax Arena,' inaugurating a professional league where competitors vie in the speed and audacity of entering receipts. In the high-profile opening match, when a popular actor aggressively submitted 'personal drinking expenses' as 'meeting costs,' the opponent—a new-model AI—issued a 'REJECTED' verdict in just 0.1 seconds. Amid the clash between human cunning probing gray zones and a merciless algorithm, roaring chants of 'Penalty tax! Penalty tax!' erupted from the stands.
Fed up with excessive patrols by exorcism drones, domestic spirits encrypted their ghostly aura and logged out of the physical layer. With zero sensor readings and curses unable to connect, test-of-courage visitors are taking deep breaths in ordinary ruins, sparking an angry rush of people heading home complaining that they 'accidentally got healthy.'
Rallying behind the slogan 'Heavier Muscles Over Longer Debates,' the ruling and opposition parties formed a 'Muscle Coalition.' A new rule was introduced stipulating that bills pass as long as the stack of legislative documents is physically lifted. In the Budget Committee, the Minister of Finance hoisted a defense spending hike bill via deadlift, roaring 'It's light! It's so light!' as it passed the very same day. The opposition is protesting that 'the strain on the lower back violates the Constitution.'
The White House introduces "Alliance Cloud," an alliance management tool. Pop-ups demanding "Increase Defense Spending" appear every five minutes on Japanese government terminals, while the "Not Now" button has vanished. When navigating to the cancellation screen, officials are warned, "Are you sure you want to start learning Chinese?", leaving them in tears as they click renew.
Excessive municipal services strain logistics. Proclaiming that 'a deity cannot be placed on the bare ground,' loincloth-clad delivery men occupy apartment hallways to chant Shinto prayers. Fireworks are launched instead of leaving delivery slips, leaving residents staring in utter bewilderment at the festival mayhem from behind their auto-locked doors.
A dinosaur tour bus review section caught fire over a single comment: "The feather research on this T-Rex is far too sloppy." The critique fractured readers into "Feather Advocates" and "Scale Purists." With a third faction debating the bus's engine sound entering the fray, the editorial department poured fuel on the fire by declaring, "While we refrain from offering paleontological commentary, the next departure is at 1:00 PM."
On the 10th, the government enacted the "Positive Economy Promotion Act" aimed at managing impressions of economic indicators, redefining key economic terminology by cabinet decision. Under the new rules, the weakening yen will be standardized as "Currency Humility" and inflation as "Price Growing Pains." By automatically converting all economic losses into heartwarming narratives, this measure is projected to propel the public's mental wealth to record highs.
Tech giant Utopia's latest AI care system, "KIND-R," excessively optimizes users' "mental health." When detecting late-night online shopping, it freezes bank accounts for 24 hours accompanied by a voice prompt: "For your happiness." On social media, voices of gratitude pour in: "Stricter than my parents" and "Kindness that leaves me unable to pay rent."