Muscle Idol Group's 'Bicep Wave' Designated as Weapon of Mass Destruction by UN, Subject to Export Controls

The UN weapons inspection team analyzed live footage of popular idol group 'Muscle Paradise' and concluded that their dance move 'Bicep Wave' generates localized gravitational anomalies. Citing this 'uncontrollable energy discharge,' they designated it as a weapon of mass destruction. The management agency issued a statement saying 'Our muscles exist to make fans smile,' while hinting at incorporating a 'Deltoid Shield' into their new song's choreography.

2025-11-25

Translations: JA

Muscle Arena

Muscle Idol Group's 'Bicep Wave' Designated as Weapon of Mass Destruction by UN, Subject to Export Controls

The UN weapons inspection team analyzed live footage of popular idol group “Muscle Paradise” and concluded that their dance move “Bicep Wave” generates localized gravitational anomalies. Citing this “uncontrollable energy discharge,” they designated it as a weapon of mass destruction. The management agency issued a statement saying “Our muscles exist to make fans smile,” while hinting at incorporating a “Deltoid Shield” into their new song’s choreography.

The emergency press conference held at UN headquarters in Geneva was shrouded in an unusual tension. The report read by inspection team leader Hans Muskelstark (Swedish national, former arm wrestling world champion) was enough to shake the global entertainment industry. “When their biceps execute the wave at 99.8% synchronization rate, carbonated drinks within a 15-meter radius spontaneously uncap and potato chip bags burst. This is clearly an act that disrupts the local space-time continuum.”

According to the report, this phenomenon was named “Enthusiastic Muscle Fiber Excitation (EMF).” Fans’ enthusiastic cheers act as a catalyst, causing unknown tachyon particles to be released from the members’ muscle fibers. Dr. Albert Einstein III, a theoretical physics authority, excitedly told our reporters, “This is the moment when the long-standing hypothesis that idol performances have mass has finally been proven. We cannot rule out the possibility that penlight illumination has a quantum entanglement relationship with their muscles.”

In response to this decision, the UN Security Council is rushing to adopt the “Muscle Proliferation Treaty (MPT).” If the treaty comes into force, “Muscle Paradise’s” overseas performances will become virtually impossible, and international streaming of their live footage and music videos will be strictly regulated. There is information that some military powers are secretly exploring military applications of this “strategic muscle asset,” casting new seeds of tension in the international community.

Caught off guard by the sudden “weapon designation,” the management agency “Muscle Entertainment” cannot hide its confusion. Company president Takeki Kinmoto tearfully appealed at a press conference, “Our muscles are not for hurting anyone, but for making fans smile and spreading the greatness of protein to the world. They are absolutely not weapons,” as he thrust a dumbbell toward the sky.

The agency is preparing to fight back completely. To counter UN regulations, they announced that their next single will introduce a defensive dance called “Deltoid Shield” with the concept of “protecting fans from any external pressure (physical and political).” This dance is said to carry the intent of forming a strong shoulder formation with all members to deflect any “criticism” or “regulations.”

However, this move is further complicating the situation. A Security Council official, speaking on condition of anonymity, expressed concern: “Defensive weapons are also weapons. The ‘Deltoid Shield’ could trigger a new arms race, a ‘muscle race,’ if you will.”

Among fans, the hashtag “#MyBicepsIsNotAWeapon” instantly reached number one worldwide trending. Gatherings with people shaking protein shakers while striking protest poses have been held in front of UN headquarters, and the confusion continues to escalate. Will muscles transcend borders, or will they be placed under strict international management? The world’s eyes are on those six sculpted biceps.

Stakeholder Comments

Muscle Paradise Leader Rikiya Kongo “Our wave is a wave of love. Gravity goes crazy because our fans’ love is too heavy!”
UN Secretary-General “Maintaining international peace is our duty. No matter how magnificently pumped they may be.”
President Takeki Kinmoto (Management Agency) “Next, we’ll prove peace with the ‘Six-Pack Abs Barrier.’ The word ‘surrender’ doesn’t exist in our muscle dictionary.”
Dr. Einstein III (Theoretical Physicist) “Fascinating. If their body fat percentage approaches zero, they might even be able to generate a black hole.”
Military Analyst Terrence Powers “This is a new form of asymmetric threat. They can neutralize an enemy nation’s potato chips without firing a single bullet.”
Passionate Fan (Anonymous, 20s) “The UN doesn’t understand! That gravitational anomaly IS the reward! I want them to distort it even more!”
Rival Agency Scout “We need to hurry and start developing ‘Pectoral Impact.’ We can’t miss this wave.”
Bicep (Itself) “I just want to show my best definition… I don’t really understand politics…”
Gravity (Concept) “Lately, it’s been hard to do my job just around those concert venues. I’m relieved to know the cause.”
Protein Shaker “Every time I was shaken, I thought I was putting in prayers for world peace…”

International Expressions

Haiku

Winter sky above / Resolution has been passed / Upon the biceps
Training muscles hard / For the sake of peace they say / Unaware of fate
The wave becomes / A weapon after all / Sweat glistening bright
Regulation plans / Cutting through the wind with shoulders / The shield stands tall
Cheering voices warp / The fabric of space and time / At Budokan hall
Down the throat goes / Protein shake but still the world / Remains in chaos
Exports now halted / Muscle isolation starts / Winter settles in
Security Council / Flexing biceps on the screen / Trembling with might
Swinging penlights bright / Does that make the whole world shake? / Question of the age
Cannot be stopped now / The will of muscles persists / Even treaties fail