"This Is Enlightenment" - Actor Playing Buddhist Monk "Purifies" Aircraft with Frozen Tuna; Crew Faints with Blissful Expressions

An actor claiming to have achieved enlightenment suddenly brandished a frozen tuna as a “lump of worldly desires” at 30,000 feet, purifying the cabin. State-of-the-art 16K cameras captured the moment ice particles flying from the tuna visualized the crew’s auras in rainbow colors. Police are investigating not for assault, but for suspected unauthorized religious activities.

On the 20th, aboard an international flight from Narita to New York, suspect Satoru Daigoji (42), an actor, caused a disturbance by swinging around a frozen tuna (approximately 1.5 meters in length) he had brought on board. Daigoji, who plays the lead role of a Buddhist monk in the new film “Vajra of Infinite Light,” reportedly stated that it was “part of his character preparation, and this is an enlightenment flight.”

A documentary crew’s 16K camera, which happened to be on the same flight, recorded the entire incident in vivid detail. The footage shows Daigoji suddenly rising from his business class seat, pulling a rock-hard frozen tuna from a special insulated bag, and swinging it around while shouting, “All sentient beings, your worldly desires shall be purified by this tuna!”

The ice particles scattered from the tuna reflected off the cabin’s LED lighting, forming rainbow-colored halos resembling an aureole. Several flight attendants, exposed to this mystical sight and the frigid gusts generated by the tuna, lost consciousness one after another while wearing blissful expressions. Fortunately, all sustained only minor injuries, and post-landing examinations diagnosed them with “a state of extreme relaxation”—it seems modern medicine has entered a new frontier.

Daigoji is known as a “method actor” who goes to extremes for his roles. Past anecdotes include “living attached to a wall for three months for a chameleon role” and “attempting to cross the Pacific on a raft for a castaway role, only to be rescued by the Japan Coast Guard.” This incident is also believed to be the result of his pursuit of realism.

Aviation commentator Eiji Mitamura stated, “Bringing frozen fish aboard is not against regulations if properly packaged. However, swinging it around was not anticipated. This may be the coldest and fishiest attempted hijacking in aviation history,” unable to hide his bewilderment at the unprecedented situation.

The Metropolitan Police Department initially investigated for violations of the Aviation Law and assault. However, as Daigoji consistently claims it was a “religious ritual” and no complaints have been filed by the crew members who fainted, they are considering changing the charge to “unauthorized religious activities in a public place.” Voices from the legal community suggest that “this will be a litmus test for whether a religion that worships tuna as a sacred object can be legally recognized,” and the judicial decision is attracting attention.

Daigoji’s talent agency apologized: “His passion for the role broke through the altitude limits of common sense. We sincerely apologize for the inconvenience caused to all parties concerned.” Meanwhile, it was announced that Daigoji’s next project will be “Diamond of the Sea,” a maritime documentary drama depicting a tuna fishing boat captain, suggesting his character preparation has already moved on to the next stage.

Stakeholder Comments

• Suspect Satoru Daigoji “That wasn’t acting—it was enlightenment. The coldness of the tuna calms the overheated souls of modern people. Did you see the flight attendant’s aura shining in rainbow colors? That’s the proof.”
• Flight Attendant Who Fainted “I don’t remember what happened… I just saw the universe spread before me, and it was as if a fairy from a tuna can whispered to me… It was the best sleep I’ve had in years.”
• Fellow Passenger “At first I thought it was terrorism, but it was so ridiculous I couldn’t help laughing. It’s inappropriate to say, but it was entertainment worth paying extra for.”
• Director of ‘Vajra of Infinite Light’ “His character preparation always surprises me. But I never expected him to bring props and practice them on-site (in the air). Next time, I’d like to discuss things a bit more.”
• Mr. Frozen Tuna (Personified) “My dream of spreading my wings from Tsukiji to the world came true in this form… It was a bit rough, but flying through the sky was a good memory. Though I wish he hadn’t grabbed my head to swing me around.”
• 16K Camera “I simply recorded the truth. From every pore to rainbow-colored aura particles, I captured everything. My resolution will prove his enlightenment.”
• Tokyo Metropolitan Police Organized Crime Division Officer “Assault or religion… This is the most perplexing case I’ve ever had. We might need to add a tuna section to the Six Codes.”
• Aura (Concept) “I’m usually an invisible existence, but I’m honored to have been visualized thanks to a frozen tuna this time. By the way, I heard my color was lavender, but rainbow isn’t bad either.”
• President of Daigoji’s Talent Agency “We apologize! For his next project, we’ll tie him to the boat!”
• Airline Spokesperson “Our company provides comfortable air travel to our customers. Swinging tuna in the cabin is a nuisance to other passengers, and we strictly prohibit it. Also, ‘Purification Service’ is not available even as an option.”

International Expressions

Haiku

• Frozen tuna / Dancing in the sky / A bodhisattva
• Thirty thousand feet / Ice shards glitter bright / Rain of dharma falls
• Worldly desires / Beaten and purified / By a fish’s tail
• Rainbow colors / Adorning the aura / Of the cabin crew
• What is enlightenment? / Something this cold / A fish perhaps
• Turbulence hits / The tuna’s sermon / Pierces to the bone
• Enlightenment flight / Final destination / A detention cell
• Character prep / With frozen fish / Above the clouds
• Ice that scattered / Could it be mankind’s / Delusion?
• For the next role / Best get used to boats / Starting now

Kanji / Chinese Characters

俳優主張 航空機内 冷凍鮪 浄化儀式 乗務員 恍惚表情 気絶続出 警察 暴行罪非ず 宗教活動 容疑捜査

Emoji

✈️➡️🧑‍✈️➡️🐟️➡️✨➡️😇➡️😵➡️👮‍♂️➡️⚖️

Onomatopoeia

Whoosh, whoosh! Swish! Sparkle, sparkle… Crackle-crackle! Murmur, murmur… Eeek! Thud, thud. Silence… Click, click! (Camera sounds)

SNS

• #TunaEnlightenment
• #FlyingBodhisattva
• Achieved ultimate relaxation in the sky
• I wish someone would purify the stress at my company too
• #BeyondMethodActing
• Auras in 16K are on another level
• Best entertainment flight ever
• Bringing my own wasabi on the next flight
• Is this… Cool Japan?
• #ExpectationsForInFlightMeals