At rush-hour platforms, humanity's representative is once again the stomach rumble. The new station photo spot collects stomach sounds while you pose, registering them as the 'Official Earth Sound' for space probes. History cannot be deleted—only your diet is editable.
Idol Kin Ensouin, celebrating his 11th anniversary since debut, has made a shocking confession. His steel-like physique is reportedly achieved through his unique 'Lung Capacity Squats,' performed in a gym with all ventilation fans turned off and filled with cigarette smoke. His agency commented, 'There is zero health impact. In fact, it sharpens the mind.'
The latest smart glasses delivered a "divine experience" where "cosmic truth flowed directly into users' minds." Some users even founded a new religion. However, an independent investigation committee determined the cause was not some grand cosmic phenomenon, but simple GPU thermal runaway. Lamenting believers who cry "Was the god I saw just screen flickering?" are now demanding an immediate refund for their "digital enlightenment" from the manufacturer.
A private space company's flagship lunar zen garden venture faces stock price collapse after its first billionaire tourist complains "the silence is too loud" and "the sand patterns don't heal my inner child." To resolve the crisis, a veteran gardener from Kyoto was dispatched on a one-way ticket to the Moon, where he now struggles to use his rake in zero gravity.
A company has unveiled the ultimate garden born from excessive hygiene concerns. In 'Secure Gardening,' popular among the wealthy, each plant is managed by GPS, and contact with neighboring plants is strictly prohibited. Recently, a family's cherry tomato was suspected of 'close contact' with neighboring basil and was picked by a surveillance drone and disposed of in compost.
Declaring 'Harvest Joy for All Living Beings,' the village removed all scarecrows and escorted crows to VIP seats. Predictably, the fields were emptied, but days later, a massive pile of nuts appeared in front of the village hall. 'This is their way of returning the favor,' the mayor tearfully expressed gratitude, and villagers are now surviving the winter on food graciously provided by the crows.
Intelligence agencies have begun using commercially available fermented foods as encryption, resulting in trench-coated spies sniffing kimchi in supermarkets becoming an everyday sight. Recently, a critical operation failed due to "weak flavor," and has now escalated into an international scramble for an elderly woman possessing a "legendary pickling bed."
Society is in turmoil over the new life-rating feature introduced by the latest stargazing app "Stella Score." AI analyzes users' social media posts and ranks them from "Sirius Tier" to "Black Hole Tier." While high-rated users receive preferential loan interest rates, low-rated users face penalties including doubled utility bills, leaving them with no time to even look up at the night sky.
At private libraries nationwide, a mysterious system has been launched to convert the value of books into vegetables. Tolstoy on the shelf is exchanged for six onions, and the return deadline is "until it sprouts." Users say, "Guaranteed calories resonate more than complex plots," and use parsley as bookmarks.
A man who narrowly escaped a bear encounter receives an unexpected sequel. The terrifying heart rate graph recorded by his dropped smart water bottle has won the Contemporary Art Grand Prize as a "digitized cry of life." While the jury praises it as "despair not seen since Picasso," a lawyer claiming to represent the bear has begun demanding rights as a co-creator and half of the prize money.