Social Lab

"Oldest RNA" Coupe Recognized by UN as "Common Ancestor of Humanity"; Paleozoic Driver's License Now Required

"Oldest RNA" Coupe Recognized by UN as "Common Ancestor of Humanity"; Paleozoic Driver's License Now Required

The oldest RNA discovered in a legendary coupe sparked an international dispute over ownership that reached an unexpected resolution. The UN has recognized the vehicle as the "Common Ancestor of Humanity" and designated it as a specially protected cultural heritage. A PhD in paleontology is now required for oil changes, and the first official statement translated from its engine sounds was "Fill it up with premium, please."

Translations: JA
Social Lab
Government Enforces 'Free Time Tax' for Mandatory Volunteering: Sleep Now a Luxury

Government Enforces 'Free Time Tax' for Mandatory Volunteering: Sleep Now a Luxury

The government has redefined community volunteering as a 'voluntary obligation' and announced plans to impose a new 'Free Time Tax' on non-participants. Using smartphone screen time data, the system automatically calculates 'leisure hours' and converts them into mandatory service shifts the following month. For busy citizens, time-saving seminars that compress sleep, meals, and lamenting into 15 minutes each will also be offered.

Translations: JA
Social Lab
Nationwide High School Standardized Tests Abolished: New Criterion Is 'Synchronized Bento Box Opening at Noon'

Nationwide High School Standardized Tests Abolished: New Criterion Is 'Synchronized Bento Box Opening at Noon'

The Ministry of Education has announced its final education reform plan. Starting next fiscal year, all high school students will be evaluated on 'how precisely they can open their bento boxes at the exact moment of the noon chime, down to the millisecond.' The synchronization rate of the unified 'click' sound will become the new standardized score, and some elite prep schools have already adopted it as an entrance exam subject.

Translations: JA
Social Lab
Aurora Identified as Cause of "Productivity Decline" Due to Excessive Beauty. Government to Mandate Blackout Curtains Over Night Sky

Aurora Identified as Cause of "Productivity Decline" Due to Excessive Beauty. Government to Mandate Blackout Curtains Over Night Sky

Reports flood in nationwide claiming "Aurora too magnificent, can't help but forget work," becoming a social problem. Government expert committee determines "aesthetic-induced distraction" severely undermines national productivity. As countermeasure, submits bill mandating installation of massive blackout curtains covering entire night sky for all municipalities. In response to protests from astronomical society, official replied "Economic indicators shine brighter than stars."

Translations: JA
Social Lab
AI Detects 'Faithless Faces' at Nuclear Plants Nationwide. First to Be Reported: A Jizo Statue

AI Detects 'Faithless Faces' at Nuclear Plants Nationwide. First to Be Reported: A Jizo Statue

In pursuit of perfect security, nuclear power plants across Japan have simultaneously deployed facial recognition 'faith scanners.' Employees watch 'Sacred Energy' educational videos every morning while AI detects impure hearts from pupil fluctuations. However, on the first day of operation, the first 'zero faith' detection the system flagged with blaring alarms was a Jizo statue standing quietly in a corner of the grounds.

Translations: JA
Social Lab
Cabinet Decides to Bet Entire Next Year's Budget on "Boat Race." Winner Takes All.

Cabinet Decides to Bet Entire Next Year's Budget on "Boat Race." Winner Takes All.

Frustrated with the inefficiency of parliamentary deliberations, the government has decided through a Cabinet meeting to hold the "First G1 Government Derby," where the entire next year's budget will be wagered. The Ministry of Finance's boat is equipped with the latest AI odds prediction system, which experts praise as "the most fair and transparent budget allocation."

Translations: JA
Social Lab
"Likes" Worth Your Life: Government Turns Dangerous Cliffs into Gacha-Based Photo Spots. Grand Prize: "Immediate Drone Rescue"

"Likes" Worth Your Life: Government Turns Dangerous Cliffs into Gacha-Based Photo Spots. Grand Prize: "Immediate Drone Rescue"

In response to recurring social media backlash after falling accidents, the government has delivered its final answer: opening dangerous cliffs as paid "Insta-worthy Gacha Cliffs." Purchase an admission ticket (with life insurance included) and shoot from the cliff edge. Additional paid gacha offers prizes like "stylish helmets" and "drones for the perfect shot." Note: rescue team arrival time varies by plan.

Translations: JA
Social Lab
"Fossilized Application Form" Discovered in City Hall - Department Responds: "Still Under Review"

"Fossilized Application Form" Discovered in City Hall - Department Responds: "Still Under Review"

A fossilized "park usage permit application form" submitted in the early Heisei era was discovered in the basement archive of city hall. While experts marvel at this "miraculous specimen fossilized by the pressure of countless 'pending' stamps from officials," the city's department issued an official statement: "This is a case inherited from our predecessors. It remains under strict review, and we cannot yet reach a conclusion."

Translations: JA
Social Lab
"Drinkable Moonlight" Buyers Howl in Unison at Midnight. Consumer Affairs Agency: "We Understand Your Feelings, But It's Just Water"

"Drinkable Moonlight" Buyers Howl in Unison at Midnight. Consumer Affairs Agency: "We Understand Your Feelings, But It's Just Water"

People who drank the spiritual water "Drinkable Moonlight," launched by an influencer, have been howling without reason at 2 a.m. There are also reports of glasses of water at bedsides glowing pale blue. The Consumer Affairs Agency warned that "the placebo effect is close to that of a werewolf" and recommended counseling before refunds.

Translations: JA
Social Lab