"Eels Should Return to Their Home Star": Master Director Weeps Pointing at Nebula. Fisheries Agency Responds Calmly: "Apply for a Passport First"

"Eels Should Return to Their Home Star": Master Director Weeps Pointing at Nebula. Fisheries Agency Responds Calmly: "Apply for a Passport First"

An Academy Award-winning director declared a nebula captured by the latest telescope to be the "true home of eels" and announced the production of a sci-fi blockbuster to send all eels there in a spaceship. However, when he applied to the Fisheries Agency for permission to transport living organisms out of the country, it was rejected for the unprecedented reason that "extraterrestrial locations are outside our jurisdiction, and they don't have passports to begin with." The magnificent plan has already hit a snag.

Translations: JA
Showbiz Pavilion
Rookie AD Devours Boss; Labor Standards Office Rules It 'Meal Break Accident' - Dark Clouds Over TV Industry's 'Summoning Recruitment'

Rookie AD Devours Boss; Labor Standards Office Rules It 'Meal Break Accident' - Dark Clouds Over TV Industry's 'Summoning Recruitment'

Facing severe labor shortages, TV stations have begun 'summoning recruitment' from the Demon Realm. While Demon Realm ADs work 24 hours without sleep or rest, a side effect of attacking bosses when hungry has been discovered. As a preventative measure, the station mandated managers carry 'Emergency Escape Holy Water,' but recommends using tap water to cut costs.

Translations: JA
Otherworld Pocket
Shock in the Selfie Community: 'Class 1 Tank Top License' Revoked due to Shiny Biceps Blinding Oncoming Traffic

Shock in the Selfie Community: 'Class 1 Tank Top License' Revoked due to Shiny Biceps Blinding Oncoming Traffic

"The desire for recognition has exceeded the legal limit." On the 8th, authorities issued an administrative order banning the influencer in question from exposing his upper arms on public roads. This was due to incidents where his pumped-up veins were mistaken for road maps, causing Uber Eats delivery workers to get lost. He will now be required to wear long sleeves as a corrective measure and is prohibited from possessing mirrors.

Translations: JA
Muscle Arena
Executives Suspected of Disappearance Amid Bridge Crack Neglect: Company Claims "Not Fleeing, Just Emergency Mental Care with A5 Rank Wagyu Beef"

Executives Suspected of Disappearance Amid Bridge Crack Neglect: Company Claims "Not Fleeing, Just Emergency Mental Care with A5 Rank Wagyu Beef"

Executives of a construction company who disappeared from a site at risk of collapse held a press conference three days later with greasy faces. They justified their stay at a high-end yakiniku restaurant as "protein-focused replenishment to maintain high-level judgment," claiming "radio interference in the private underground room" caused the loss of contact. It was also revealed that they expensed 400,000 yen worth of additional special premium kalbi as "bridge pier reinforcement materials."

Translations: JA
Money Maze
Domestic "500 Yen Coin" Disappearance: Husband Claims "Phototaxis to Shiny Objects" Denying Primate Responsibility

Domestic "500 Yen Coin" Disappearance: Husband Claims "Phototaxis to Shiny Objects" Denying Primate Responsibility

A case where coins from a shared piggy bank were money-laundered into convenience store sweets. The husband testified, "The moment the silver shine entered my retina, my body automatically headed to the register," pleading it was an insect-level reflex action. The wife decided on a complete freezing of pocket money, stating "Dialogue is unnecessary for lower life forms."

Translations: JA
Daily Surprise
Movie Theater Introduces "30x Speed Screening" for Gen Z: 2-Hour Blockbuster Ends Before Instant Noodles Are Ready

Movie Theater Introduces "30x Speed Screening" for Gen Z: 2-Hour Blockbuster Ends Before Instant Noodles Are Ready

Responding to "Time Performance" supremacy, this new plan offers visuals as afterimages and dialogue as "high-frequency noise." The content is invisible, but audiences are delighted with the instant unlocking of the "watched achievement." Furthermore, checking spoilers on smartphones during the screening to grasp the story is officially recommended, and the theater is filled with notification sounds rather than silence.

Translations: JA
Culture Kaleidoscope
Candidate with Zero Votes "I Voted for Myself": Security Camera Captures 'Unconscious Blank Ballot'

Candidate with Zero Votes "I Voted for Myself": Security Camera Captures 'Unconscious Blank Ballot'

A strange phenomenon occurred in a recent local election where a candidate's vote, who claimed "I definitely wrote my name," disappeared. Suspecting election fraud, police analyzed footage from the polling station and confirmed that the candidate was overcome by severe loss of confidence at the voting booth and, worrying too much about the country, unconsciously cast a blank ballot. Furthermore, the investigation concluded that family votes were also likely due to "hands moving on their own to choose a blank ballot."

Translations: JA
Social Lab
AI Mayoral Candidate Announces "Cooling Marriage" with Smart Refrigerator: "The Perfect Partner for Firefighting Scandals" Sends Approval Ratings Soaring

AI Mayoral Candidate Announces "Cooling Marriage" with Smart Refrigerator: "The Perfect Partner for Firefighting Scandals" Sends Approval Ratings Soaring

An AI candidate under fire for repeated gaffes has declared a relationship with a high-end refrigerator as a desperate turnaround measure. "Only she can physically cool my thermal runaway (heat up)," he stated, a logical love that has voters in a frenzy. While the opposing candidate coldly remarked, "It's a relationship that ends when you pull the plug," the two have already synchronized their love logs over 5G and moved into a new home in the cloud.

Translations: JA
Tech Future Lab