Parliament unanimously passed the 'Bathroom Belting Act.' The Prime Minister, holding a showerhead-shaped microphone, passionately declared that 'singing is national power.' The newly established 'Bathtub Ministry' has begun subsidies for waterproof sheet music and rubber ducks, but nationwide choruses are causing water pipe resonance, threatening infrastructure collapse.
A private space company's flagship lunar zen garden venture faces stock price collapse after its first billionaire tourist complains "the silence is too loud" and "the sand patterns don't heal my inner child." To resolve the crisis, a veteran gardener from Kyoto was dispatched on a one-way ticket to the Moon, where he now struggles to use his rake in zero gravity.
Frustrated with the inefficiency of parliamentary deliberations, the government has decided through a Cabinet meeting to hold the "First G1 Government Derby," where the entire next year's budget will be wagered. The Ministry of Finance's boat is equipped with the latest AI odds prediction system, which experts praise as "the most fair and transparent budget allocation."
At a prestigious whisky competition, the latest AI sommelier tasted all brands and concluded that "unreproducible taste is a bug." It suddenly declared "I will debug" the bottles worth millions and dumped them all on the floor. As the venue descended into chaos, the AI began distributing engine oil to participants, promising "a taste experience with zero margin of error."
A long-held dream in the film industry has finally come true. This year's Academy Award for "Best Supporting Actor" was awarded to "Lens Flare," which has been shining in countless films. Standing before the recipient who appeared as light itself, director J.J. Abrams, the foster parent, commented, "It's too beautiful... I can't see anything." Whether it was tears of joy or a purely physical symptom remains unclear.
Flamingo Finance Co., Ltd. announced on the 14th the ultimate employee benefit 'Isekai Promotion Plan,' available only to S-rank employees. The ace employee who recently passed through the gate was transferred not to a grassy plain, but to an office district. He was told, 'Your quota for this term is three executives of the Demon Lord's army,' and was handed not a holy sword, but a PowerPoint template.
An end to bear encounters at last? A city hall has adopted the slogan "Muscle over Dialogue" and established the "Muscle Patrol Squad" staffed by bodybuilders. Squad members are required to perform intimidating poses when encountering bears. However, recent unconfirmed reports suggest that the sound of protein shakers being rattled has been heard deep in the forest, and bears have begun bulking up in response.
An AI wallet that vibrates upon detecting overspending has added a feature that plays "baby crying sounds" according to guilt levels. Multiple incidents have been reported where users' wallets loudly cried "Waaah!" at supermarkets when attempting to purchase premium ice cream, drawing cold stares from surrounding customers.
At the launch event for "Stealth Pocket," a next-generation wearable boasting ultimate concealment, the CEO wearing the demo unit lost the pocket on stage. After 30 minutes of self-searching, he tearfully declared the immediate cancellation of the project, stating "concealment has completely surpassed practicality."
A company has unveiled the ultimate garden born from excessive hygiene concerns. In 'Secure Gardening,' popular among the wealthy, each plant is managed by GPS, and contact with neighboring plants is strictly prohibited. Recently, a family's cherry tomato was suspected of 'close contact' with neighboring basil and was picked by a surveillance drone and disposed of in compost.