The city hall announced a new service that compensates for administrative blunders: '10x points if personal data is leaked.' With 'apology coupons' raining into mailboxes, residents are starting to hope for data leaks to support their household budgets. The mayor proudly claims that 'trust can also be turned into miles,' but a screen to check the balance is nowhere to be found.
At midnight, City Hall designated the roar of custom motorcycle gang 'Rolling Runway' as a 'Crucial BGM of Youth Culture' and registered it as a cultural property. The windows of the housing complex clapped from the vibrations, and residents received free earplugs. Interestingly, it was the complaint hotline department, not the city itself, that filed the application.
A new system has gone live that redefines government documents that return no search results as the 'beauty of empty space.' The completely blacked-out PDFs received through information disclosure requests have been praised in the art world as 'masterpieces depicting contemporary opacity,' with the minister in charge declaring, 'This is not concealment. It is highly sophisticated curation.'
A researcher on the verge of retirement has developed a video AI that extracts only the exact moment when "the mind quits first" from security camera footage. Companies are adopting this as an employee engagement diagnostic, leading to mandatory online training where workers must hold a smile for three seconds or more in front of their webcams.
If you can't win with words, just buy them out. During a heated late-night debate, an IT CEO abandoned verbal arguments, pulled a "money bouquet" out of his gadget pouch instead of a Type-C cable, and gently slapped his opponent's cheek to silence him. The show's management has condoned this "ultimate solution" retrieved from a neatly organized pouch, stating that "under the rules, financial power is also a form of capability."
In response to stagnant inbound tourist numbers, the Japan Tourism Agency announced a new guideline that 'does not care whether visitors have legs or not.' Designating the Obon festival as a 'super peak season,' they changed entry procedures for ghosts from facial recognition to 'Grudge Authentication.' Meanwhile, the physical exchange processing of the massive amount of 'leaves' and 'hell money' paid by the spirits has caused the Ministry of Finance's underground vault to physically overflow, prompting the Governor of the Bank of Japan to request an exorcism.
Struggling with budget deficits, private space development firm 'Galaxy Sweat Co.' announced on the 26th that it will abolish the use of Extravehicular Mobility Units (EMUs)—estimated at 1 billion yen per suit—and mandate astronauts wear 800 layers of commercially available 'ultra-warm thermal underwear.' In theory, the 800 layers of air insulation block absolute zero, while the physical compression matches that of 10,000 meters underwater. Since 'merely breathing puts a load equivalent to a 200kg bench press' on the body, space stays will turn into extreme muscle-training gyms. The head of development proudly stated, 'No one has ever been able to undress by themselves upon return, but everyone has obtained a hardness akin to a living diamond.'
Turmoil has struck the anime adaptation of a popular baseball manga. The main sponsor, a major herbicide manufacturer, was outraged, stating that "weeds surviving after our spraying is an insult to our product," leading to the production team's complete surrender. It was revealed on the 31st that the title will be changed to 'Clear Land Spirit' (Sarachi-Damashii) and all settings where the protagonist overcomes adversity will be entirely deleted. The story will be revamped: in the first episode, the grass on the field is completely withered from the roots, and all team members give up on Koshien to register for weeding jobs at the local silver human resources center.
A new menu that generates electricity from stomach acid has debuted for elite professionals who grudge even the time spent eating. For three hours after the meal, their eyes glow like high beams, enabling overtime work without office lighting. While highly convenient, a growing number of cases have been reported at airport security checkpoints where passengers themselves are treated as "hazardous materials."
![[Breaking] Launch Event for Perfume 'Scent of Cancellation' Actually Cancelled: 'This is the product experience,' manufacturer declares](/ja/articles/20260829-eau-de-cancellation/index_hu_3890255db3e2023e.jpg)
"Eau de Cancellation" is a unique perfume based on the concept of "the sense of grief brought by sudden cancellations." On the day of its launch event, the official website only displayed "Cancelled due to equipment trouble." In response to a flood of inquiries, the manufacturer replied, "This is the ultimate immersive product, allowing you to experience the concept with all five senses without even smelling the scent," and initiated a customer satisfaction survey.