Activists advocating for fair food distribution have purchased everything from convenience store bento boxes to emergency rations in preparation for a long battle. Ironically, they have become the only "well-fed class" in the city, creating a hellish tableau as they call for solidarity through megaphones to hungry citizens.
Due to a severe shortage of demons, Hell's flagship "Eternal Hellfire" plan will be changed to a time-limited "Intermittent Scorching" service. Concerned about customer churn, management has announced a new "Weekend Only Hell" plan for just 980 yen per month. The convenience of spending weekdays in the mortal world has proven popular, with applications flooding in.
The new arena where barbells have been replaced with gaming mice. Athletes bearing national flags sweat profusely as they narrowly avoid clicking suspicious 'Buy Now' buttons. In the final stage, while other athletes struggle with the latest AI detection tools, the winning grandmother declared, magnifying glass in hand, 'Suspicious sites have cheap-looking fonts, you know.'
As rising prices push more people to cut breakfast, a budget mobile carrier has unveiled its 'Skip Breakfast, Get More Data' plan. A smart fridge uses AI to monitor morning door activity, and detecting bread or milk instantly suspends the discount. The company proudly claims it's 'kind to both health and wallet,' while simultaneously releasing a separate 'Breakfast Subscription Option'—opening a new subscription hell between household budgets and stomachs.
Unskippable ads have been introduced in delivery rooms. Every time the contraction monitor flashes red, ceiling speakers shout 'Pelvic belt now at 5x points!' while baby product logos blink across entire walls. A couple who chose the 'ad-supported birth plan'—which automatically inserts commercials into livestreams for distant family—say they saved 30% on costs. However, their newborn's smartphone advertising ID was reportedly issued before the baby even had a name.
At rush-hour platforms, humanity's representative is once again the stomach rumble. The new station photo spot collects stomach sounds while you pose, registering them as the 'Official Earth Sound' for space probes. History cannot be deleted—only your diet is editable.
The government has redefined community volunteering as a 'voluntary obligation' and announced plans to impose a new 'Free Time Tax' on non-participants. Using smartphone screen time data, the system automatically calculates 'leisure hours' and converts them into mandatory service shifts the following month. For busy citizens, time-saving seminars that compress sleep, meals, and lamenting into 15 minutes each will also be offered.
A Silver Esports League has been established as a new sport for the era of 100-year lifespans. Each time players skillfully close billing screens with their mouse, the venue erupts in cheers. However, the moment the grand prize was announced as a "latest model PC (pre-configured)," all players lifted their hands from their keyboards.
The Ministry of Education has announced its final education reform plan. Starting next fiscal year, all high school students will be evaluated on 'how precisely they can open their bento boxes at the exact moment of the noon chime, down to the millisecond.' The synchronization rate of the unified 'click' sound will become the new standardized score, and some elite prep schools have already adopted it as an entrance exam subject.
At Buzz Nursery School in another world, flopped memes are sent directly to the 'Meme Funeral Hall' in the schoolyard. Three-year-olds wear black name tags and recite 'Our condolences, it didn't go viral,' mastering crisis management before they even learn their ABCs.