Salvation for the All-Nighter Crew? "Railgun Acupuncture" Commercialized: Mach 7 Iron Cores Vaporize Stiffness, But Turn Workrooms into Swiss Cheese

Salvation for the All-Nighter Crew? "Railgun Acupuncture" Commercialized: Mach 7 Iron Cores Vaporize Stiffness, But Turn Workrooms into Swiss Cheese

A new therapy involving shooting electromagnetically accelerated acupuncture needles into pressure points at supersonic speeds has emerged to save writers pushed to their limits before deadlines. While the exhilarating sensation of physically obliterating stubborn stiffness is popular, there have been successive reports of damage, such as pen tablets being shattered by shockwaves and holes being blown into apartments. Voices of joy and confusion are mixed: "My shoulders are light, but I have no home."

Translations: JA
Showbiz Pavilion
Leaving Work on Time is 'Lack of Heat': Government Designates Humans as Renewable Energy, Karoshi Becomes 'Honorable Complete Combustion'

Leaving Work on Time is 'Lack of Heat': Government Designates Humans as Renewable Energy, Karoshi Becomes 'Honorable Complete Combustion'

Preparing for the depletion of fossil fuels, the government officially recognized the 'guts' and 'labor heat' of the people as a new energy source on the 11th. Along with this, a combustion rank such as 'burnable waste' has been added to the insurance card classification of the My Number Card, and high-calorie corporate slaves are prioritized for assignment to thermal power plants. While an environmental tax is imposed on 'leaving work on time' as 'incomplete combustion', those who collapse from overwork are disposed of as 'cinders' (industrial waste), and bereaved families are granted a large amount of environmental protection points.

Translations: JA
Money Maze
Bigwig Politician Performs 'Unreleased Crimes' at Self-Deprecating Live Show; Front-Row Prosecutors Give Standing Ovation

Bigwig Politician Performs 'Unreleased Crimes' at Self-Deprecating Live Show; Front-Row Prosecutors Give Standing Ovation

On the final day of his national tour 'Turning Suspicion into Laughter,' a politician passionately performed the skit 'Fictitious Slush Funds.' However, since the prop ledger was real, undercover investigators in the audience wept with emotion. While receiving high praise for 'amazing attention to detail,' the encore was set to be held in an interrogation room.

Translations: JA
Social Lab
Air Guitar Champion Rushed to Hospital with "Air Compound Fracture"; Doctors Perform 5-Hour Pantomime Surgery

Air Guitar Champion Rushed to Hospital with "Air Compound Fracture"; Doctors Perform 5-Hour Pantomime Surgery

During an intense solo performance, the "non-existent neck" snapped, and invisible debris struck the champion all over his body. Surgeons at the hospital took the situation seriously and completed an emergency surgery to suture the empty space. The band has declared they will pay the high medical costs not with cash but with "passionate gratitude," leading to an "air dispute" with the hospital.

Translations: JA
Showbiz Pavilion