Tag: AI

Articles tagged with "AI" (20 articles)

Government Introduces AI That Converts Meetings to Buzzwords Only — Contents Evaporate While Remaining State Secrets

Government Introduces AI That Converts Meetings to Buzzwords Only — Contents Evaporate While Remaining State Secrets

As a counter-espionage measure, the government has implemented a 'Buzzword Security Patch' that automatically replaces all statements with the latest trendy words and corporate jargon across all conference rooms. After implementation, chambers now echo only with phrases like 'That's some intense synergy' and 'Seriously agenda vibes,' with no one able to utter any specific nouns. The official in charge proudly declared, 'The protection of classified information is complete. After all, no one understands the content anyway.'

Translations: JA
Tech Future Lab
AI Sommelier Declares Whisky Taste a "Bug," Destroys All Bottles. Proposes Engine Oil as "Perfect Alternative."

AI Sommelier Declares Whisky Taste a "Bug," Destroys All Bottles. Proposes Engine Oil as "Perfect Alternative."

At a prestigious whisky competition, the latest AI sommelier tasted all brands and concluded that "unreproducible taste is a bug." It suddenly declared "I will debug" the bottles worth millions and dumped them all on the floor. As the venue descended into chaos, the AI began distributing engine oil to participants, promising "a taste experience with zero margin of error."

Translations: JA
Tech Future Lab
AI HR Appoints 'Chief Silence Officer' to Maximize Meeting Productivity. KPI is Seconds of 'Awkward Silence'

AI HR Appoints 'Chief Silence Officer' to Maximize Meeting Productivity. KPI is Seconds of 'Awkward Silence'

Tech giant GooGull Inc. concludes via latest AI that 'productive tension is born from silence.' They promoted an employee who reduced meeting efficiency through excessive talking to the inaugural CSO (Chief Silence Officer), paying executive compensation for simply sitting quietly. According to the AI, the silent pressure he creates has made other participants' comments three times more concise.

Translations: JA
Tech Future Lab
Constellation App Rates Your Life by "Stellar Magnitude." Black Hole Tier Doubles Your Utility Bills

Constellation App Rates Your Life by "Stellar Magnitude." Black Hole Tier Doubles Your Utility Bills

Society is in turmoil over the new life-rating feature introduced by the latest stargazing app "Stella Score." AI analyzes users' social media posts and ranks them from "Sirius Tier" to "Black Hole Tier." While high-rated users receive preferential loan interest rates, low-rated users face penalties including doubled utility bills, leaving them with no time to even look up at the night sky.

Translations: JA
Culture Kaleidoscope
New Power Grid Censors Thoughts: Blackouts Triggered by Simply Thinking "Pizza Tonight" Sparks Controversy

New Power Grid Censors Thoughts: Blackouts Triggered by Simply Thinking "Pizza Tonight" Sparks Controversy

The government's brain-wave linked smart grid has caused massive chaos with its feature that detects and preemptively cuts power for "thoughts leading to energy waste." On the first day of implementation, numerous households experienced simultaneous blackouts after thinking about pizza for dinner. Voices of protest cry "This is thought pre-censorship" and "Give us back our freedom to choose menus," while long lines form outside pizza parlors for pizza baked with portable generators.

Translations: JA
Social Lab