Tag: Bureaucracy

Articles tagged with "Bureaucracy" (11 articles)

Aurora Identified as Cause of "Productivity Decline" Due to Excessive Beauty. Government to Mandate Blackout Curtains Over Night Sky

Aurora Identified as Cause of "Productivity Decline" Due to Excessive Beauty. Government to Mandate Blackout Curtains Over Night Sky

Reports flood in nationwide claiming "Aurora too magnificent, can't help but forget work," becoming a social problem. Government expert committee determines "aesthetic-induced distraction" severely undermines national productivity. As countermeasure, submits bill mandating installation of massive blackout curtains covering entire night sky for all municipalities. In response to protests from astronomical society, official replied "Economic indicators shine brighter than stars."

Translations: JA
Social Lab
"Fossilized Application Form" Discovered in City Hall - Department Responds: "Still Under Review"

"Fossilized Application Form" Discovered in City Hall - Department Responds: "Still Under Review"

A fossilized "park usage permit application form" submitted in the early Heisei era was discovered in the basement archive of city hall. While experts marvel at this "miraculous specimen fossilized by the pressure of countless 'pending' stamps from officials," the city's department issued an official statement: "This is a case inherited from our predecessors. It remains under strict review, and we cannot yet reach a conclusion."

Translations: JA
Social Lab
"Single Misplaced Kyoho Grape Erases Star System" Cabinet Office Appoints 3-Year-Old as Special Minister

"Single Misplaced Kyoho Grape Erases Star System" Cabinet Office Appoints 3-Year-Old as Special Minister

The discovery that a 3-year-old's game of rearranging grapes on the dining table determines the rise and fall of interdimensional civilizations has prompted the government to treat this as a serious diplomatic issue, establishing the "Cosmic Grape Arrangement Security Office." The toddler minister simply stated "eat all" upon appointment, sending new tensions through diplomatic channels.

Translations: JA
Otherworld Pocket
Mystery Object in Orbit Identified as Lost Government Cabinet from the 80s. Government: 'It's a Piggy Bank for the Future'

Mystery Object in Orbit Identified as Lost Government Cabinet from the 80s. Government: 'It's a Piggy Bank for the Future'

The mysterious periodic signal that has puzzled astronomers for years has been identified as a rolling approval seal (hanko) waiting for authorization inside a government cabinet orbiting the Earth. The government explained it as 'a grand experimental demonstration for future administrative efficiency. We were observing the stagnation of approval processes through the way the seals roll.'

Translations: JA
Social Lab
"Stomp the Sea Down": New National Project Causes International Incident with Tsunami Side Effects

"Stomp the Sea Down": New National Project Causes International Incident with Tsunami Side Effects

As the final answer to rising sea levels, the government has activated the "Grand Sumo Terraforming" plan, gathering sumo wrestlers on a gigantic floating dohyo in the Pacific to collectively perform shiko stomps and push down the ocean floor. While the minister in charge boasts that "Japan's spirit will save the Earth," the resulting artificial tsunami washed away Hawaiian beaches, escalating into a diplomatic crisis.

Translations: JA
Social Lab
Cabinet Approves Bill to Mandate Nationwide "Crawling Forward"; Major Developers Announce "Horizontally Long Apartments"

Cabinet Approves Bill to Mandate Nationwide "Crawling Forward"; Major Developers Announce "Horizontally Long Apartments"

Following the discovery of a snake fossil, the government has approved a bill mandating all citizens to crawl as part of a "return to human origins." Aimed at promoting health, violators will be charged with "standing up crime." In response, major developers announced "horizontally long apartments" without elevators, sending their stock prices to the daily limit.

Translations: JA
Social Lab