Tag: Government

Articles tagged with "Government" (7 articles)

Government Introduces AI That Converts Meetings to Buzzwords Only — Contents Evaporate While Remaining State Secrets

Government Introduces AI That Converts Meetings to Buzzwords Only — Contents Evaporate While Remaining State Secrets

As a counter-espionage measure, the government has implemented a 'Buzzword Security Patch' that automatically replaces all statements with the latest trendy words and corporate jargon across all conference rooms. After implementation, chambers now echo only with phrases like 'That's some intense synergy' and 'Seriously agenda vibes,' with no one able to utter any specific nouns. The official in charge proudly declared, 'The protection of classified information is complete. After all, no one understands the content anyway.'

Translations: JA
Tech Future Lab
"Likes" Worth Your Life: Government Turns Dangerous Cliffs into Gacha-Based Photo Spots. Grand Prize: "Immediate Drone Rescue"

"Likes" Worth Your Life: Government Turns Dangerous Cliffs into Gacha-Based Photo Spots. Grand Prize: "Immediate Drone Rescue"

In response to recurring social media backlash after falling accidents, the government has delivered its final answer: opening dangerous cliffs as paid "Insta-worthy Gacha Cliffs." Purchase an admission ticket (with life insurance included) and shoot from the cliff edge. Additional paid gacha offers prizes like "stylish helmets" and "drones for the perfect shot." Note: rescue team arrival time varies by plan.

Translations: JA
Social Lab
"Space Fan" Solution for Air Pollution: Government Allocates Entire National Budget to Remote Control Asteroids

"Space Fan" Solution for Air Pollution: Government Allocates Entire National Budget to Remote Control Asteroids

The government announced on the 14th a plan to use asteroids as "space fans" to eliminate domestic smog. The minister in charge appeared at a press conference holding a giant remote control, smiling and explaining, "Operation is simple. 'Low' creates a gentle breeze, 'Turbo' can generate a typhoon." Unconfirmed reports suggest that the first operational test caused all laundry from a neighboring country to fly across the border.

Translations: JA
Social Lab
"Somen Police" Established, Man Arrested for Topping Noodles with Coriander

"Somen Police" Established, Man Arrested for Topping Noodles with Coriander

To maintain order at summer dining tables, the government has established the "Special Noodle Culture Protection Squad," commonly known as the "Somen Police." On their first day of operations, a man who used tapioca pearls and coriander as condiments was arrested for violating the Cultural Protection Act. The squad leader tearfully stated, "Mentsuyu is the only justice. We are the last bastion of food culture."

Translations: JA
Social Lab
National Stress Measurement Day: Results Heavily Redacted

National Stress Measurement Day: Results Heavily Redacted

The 'National Measurement Day' where the entire nation simultaneously measures stress levels via smartwatches has been conducted. However, the published statistics are covered in black bars, causing citizens' anxiety levels to skyrocket. Experts point out that 'concealment is the ultimate stressor.'

Translations: JA
Social Lab