Aurora Identified as Cause of "Productivity Decline" Due to Excessive Beauty. Government to Mandate Blackout Curtains Over Night Sky
Reports flood in nationwide claiming "Aurora too magnificent, can't help but forget work," becoming a social problem. Government expert committee determines "aesthetic-induced distraction" severely undermines national productivity. As countermeasure, submits bill mandating installation of massive blackout curtains covering entire night sky for all municipalities. In response to protests from astronomical society, official replied "Economic indicators shine brighter than stars."
