Tag: Satire

Articles tagged with "Satire" (48 articles)

"I Thought I Was Going to Die" Heart Rate Graph Wins Contemporary Art Award. Bear Demands Credit as "Co-Creator"

"I Thought I Was Going to Die" Heart Rate Graph Wins Contemporary Art Award. Bear Demands Credit as "Co-Creator"

A man who narrowly escaped a bear encounter receives an unexpected sequel. The terrifying heart rate graph recorded by his dropped smart water bottle has won the Contemporary Art Grand Prize as a "digitized cry of life." While the jury praises it as "despair not seen since Picasso," a lawyer claiming to represent the bear has begun demanding rights as a co-creator and half of the prize money.

Translations: JA
Culture Kaleidoscope
Poverty Survivor Game Update Adds "Noble Mode" - Players Score Points by Throwing Bread at the Poor in Cruel But Popular Feature

Poverty Survivor Game Update Adds "Noble Mode" - Players Score Points by Throwing Bread at the Poor in Cruel But Popular Feature

Flamingo Finance Inc. announced on the 14th their hit smartphone game "Poverty Survivor" now features "Noble Mode" where players can play from a wealthy perspective. Players score points by throwing bread at starving NPCs from a carriage and judging their reactions. The developer claims "educational intent to teach the difficulty of charity," but #NobleHobby is trending on social media.

Translations: JA
Showbiz Pavilion
New Power Grid Censors Thoughts: Blackouts Triggered by Simply Thinking "Pizza Tonight" Sparks Controversy

New Power Grid Censors Thoughts: Blackouts Triggered by Simply Thinking "Pizza Tonight" Sparks Controversy

The government's brain-wave linked smart grid has caused massive chaos with its feature that detects and preemptively cuts power for "thoughts leading to energy waste." On the first day of implementation, numerous households experienced simultaneous blackouts after thinking about pizza for dinner. Voices of protest cry "This is thought pre-censorship" and "Give us back our freedom to choose menus," while long lines form outside pizza parlors for pizza baked with portable generators.

Translations: JA
Social Lab
New Urban Legend 'Suzuki-san Who Leaves Exactly on Time' Makes the Slit-Mouthed Woman Look Like Just Another Mask-Wearing Beauty

New Urban Legend 'Suzuki-san Who Leaves Exactly on Time' Makes the Slit-Mouthed Woman Look Like Just Another Mask-Wearing Beauty

Reports of seeing the slit-mouthed woman but feeling nothing have surged on social media. Experts analyze that the overwhelming realism of the new urban legend 'Suzuki-san Who Leaves on Time' is neutralizing the fear of other ghost stories. They warn that at this rate, the day when Hanako-san of the toilet applies for paid leave and returns to her hometown is near.

Translations: JA
Culture Kaleidoscope
Lunar Workers Urgently Needed at 1,300 Yen/Hour. Benefits Include 'Zero-Gravity Back Pain' and Return Fuel Costs Deducted from Pay

Lunar Workers Urgently Needed at 1,300 Yen/Hour. Benefits Include 'Zero-Gravity Back Pain' and Return Fuel Costs Deducted from Pay

The dream lunar colonization plan turns out to be 'irregular employment with the best view in space.' Job postings boast 'Beginners Welcome' and 'Homely Workplace,' but main duties involve dodging meteorites and dusting solar panels. The glamorous 'Lunar Feast' was revealed to be just one protein bar distributed once a month.

Translations: JA
Tech Future Lab
Overcalorie Electric Shock: Subscription 'Smart Bento Box' Crashes Servers with Reservation Rush

Overcalorie Electric Shock: Subscription 'Smart Bento Box' Crashes Servers with Reservation Rush

The monthly subscription smart bento box 'NutriGuard 3000' sold out its initial production run due to overwhelming reservations. This device forcibly manages eating habits by delivering a mild electric current to users who attempt to eat outside designated meal times or exceed calorie limits. While developers praise it as 'the ultimate self-management tool,' rumors suggest that jailbreak services for 'dessert mode' are circulating on dark web sites for high prices.

Translations: JA
Showbiz Pavilion
New Economic Stimulus: All Citizens Forced to Have "Stone Appreciation Holidays". Those Who Miss Purchase Targets Must Retake Weekends

New Economic Stimulus: All Citizens Forced to Have "Stone Appreciation Holidays". Those Who Miss Purchase Targets Must Retake Weekends

The government's new economic plan involves equipping all citizens with consumption monitoring anklets and forcibly sending them to designated "Stone Theme Parks." Only purchases of stone goods are permitted within venues, and walking is prohibited. "Sit and Buy" becomes the new slogan, with "#OnlyStoneWins" trending on social media.

Translations: JA
Daily Surprise
Mystery Object in Orbit Identified as Lost Government Cabinet from the 80s. Government: 'It's a Piggy Bank for the Future'

Mystery Object in Orbit Identified as Lost Government Cabinet from the 80s. Government: 'It's a Piggy Bank for the Future'

The mysterious periodic signal that has puzzled astronomers for years has been identified as a rolling approval seal (hanko) waiting for authorization inside a government cabinet orbiting the Earth. The government explained it as 'a grand experimental demonstration for future administrative efficiency. We were observing the stagnation of approval processes through the way the seals roll.'

Translations: JA
Social Lab