New Power Grid Censors Thoughts: Blackouts Triggered by Simply Thinking "Pizza Tonight" Sparks Controversy

New Power Grid Censors Thoughts: Blackouts Triggered by Simply Thinking "Pizza Tonight" Sparks Controversy

The government's brain-wave linked smart grid has caused massive chaos with its feature that detects and preemptively cuts power for "thoughts leading to energy waste." On the first day of implementation, numerous households experienced simultaneous blackouts after thinking about pizza for dinner. Voices of protest cry "This is thought pre-censorship" and "Give us back our freedom to choose menus," while long lines form outside pizza parlors for pizza baked with portable generators.

Translations: JA
Social Lab
Lead Actor Suffers Burnout from 'Doing Nothing' Role Prep. Drama 'THE Rest' Production Halted

Lead Actor Suffers Burnout from 'Doing Nothing' Role Prep. Drama 'THE Rest' Production Halted

The lead actor of the new drama 'THE Rest,' who took on the challenging role of embodying 'doing nothing,' has announced an indefinite hiatus after burning out from continuous meditation and perfectly still scenes for the role. 'The eight-hour scene without blinking was the crystallization of his acting spirit. It was the result of pursuing perfect nothingness,' the producer praised his professionalism.

Translations: JA
Showbiz Pavilion
Found 3 Minutes Too Late, Discarded: $500 Avocado Found by Helicopter Search Becomes 'Conscious' Fertilizer in Live Stream

Found 3 Minutes Too Late, Discarded: $500 Avocado Found by Helicopter Search Becomes 'Conscious' Fertilizer in Live Stream

A wealthy man lost a $500 avocado in his garden, which was found by state military helicopter, but the owner declared 'This is no longer life' as it was just 3 minutes past its peak ripeness. He immediately began a live stream titled 'Gratitude Return to Earth,' with viewers flooding donations as it transformed into premium fertilizer.

Translations: JA
Daily Surprise
New Urban Legend 'Suzuki-san Who Leaves Exactly on Time' Makes the Slit-Mouthed Woman Look Like Just Another Mask-Wearing Beauty

New Urban Legend 'Suzuki-san Who Leaves Exactly on Time' Makes the Slit-Mouthed Woman Look Like Just Another Mask-Wearing Beauty

Reports of seeing the slit-mouthed woman but feeling nothing have surged on social media. Experts analyze that the overwhelming realism of the new urban legend 'Suzuki-san Who Leaves on Time' is neutralizing the fear of other ghost stories. They warn that at this rate, the day when Hanako-san of the toilet applies for paid leave and returns to her hometown is near.

Translations: JA
Culture Kaleidoscope
Lunar Workers Urgently Needed at 1,300 Yen/Hour. Benefits Include 'Zero-Gravity Back Pain' and Return Fuel Costs Deducted from Pay

Lunar Workers Urgently Needed at 1,300 Yen/Hour. Benefits Include 'Zero-Gravity Back Pain' and Return Fuel Costs Deducted from Pay

The dream lunar colonization plan turns out to be 'irregular employment with the best view in space.' Job postings boast 'Beginners Welcome' and 'Homely Workplace,' but main duties involve dodging meteorites and dusting solar panels. The glamorous 'Lunar Feast' was revealed to be just one protein bar distributed once a month.

Translations: JA
Tech Future Lab